a crush a day: one part humorous & two scoops opinionated
Monday, February 20, 2012
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
340. unknown unknown
Unknown unknowns: Things we don’t know that we don’t know.
I think that everyone should enter and read the current contest post out because through the comments posted I am learning so much about some of the nuisances of interracial dating that weren’t blogged about...until now. I am on a crusade to blog more about these experiences so that women who are dating IR or are about to (especially younger women who are starting to date period) are well prepared for what they might encounter).
Of course there are people who want to block black women from dating outside of their culture but when it comes down to it, I didn’t realize how “undercover” these people were until it happened to me directly. And I pretty much live life transparently when it comes to the kinds of guys I like (which you can all see here from my blog LOL).
After experiencing these things and reading more about how some of you are experiencing these things I want to write a post about how to strategize about what to do after blocking happens or how to avoid getting into that situation in the first place.
I spoke about the unknown unknowns in the beginning of the post because in this situation you are with people you trust to a degree and may not know what blocking will occur until it happens. This is going to be the “how to avoid getting blocked” from dating interracial by friends and acquaintances in the meeting stage.
Tips for the "Meeting Stage":
1. Direct! Understand that the best way for some black women to date interracially is to meet those men directly. When I started reading IR blogs there were always mentions of developing a group of girlfriends who date interracially as well and go out with them. I do have a group of friends like that but our kinds of guys do not conflict with each other. Therefore, I feel if you want to rely on this method make sure your friends have completely opposite tastes than your own. If not, then the safest bet would be to meet guys through guys because once you are accepted by a group of guys there is most likely going to be no fall out in the world that will be able to disconnect your contact from them.
2. Contact! DO NOT RELY ON YOUR INITIAL CONTACT! This is from a personal situation that I encountered meeting attractive, very nice, single men who were friends of my friend’s boyfriend. All of them were interested in seeing me and other friends again but we relied on this friend and her boyfriend to keep all of the contact information...now me and those individuals have a complicated relationship. The worst thing that can happen after meeting really cool guys for women is to not give out any contact information. Do not rely on others to keep the contact. You get the BBM, Facebook, twitter whatever and just do your thing. That way a friendship (and eventually whatever next) can happen independently of the initial contact people. Do not learn this the hard way that you will find out in these situations who thinks of you as a friend and who thinks of you as competition.
Ah, I seriously wish I knew this before! But because I did not I will continue to write more about this topic to make sure that all of you single ladies with me in the dating jungle know this and more. To stay up to date with this post everything will be labelled “strategy series.”
Monday, February 6, 2012
339. human nature
“I like livin' this way
I like lovin' this
way”
On that “Me First” mentality here is the returning coupling of Sam
and Mercedes on Glee episode 3x11 Michael. I was never interested in the show before this (see here
for reasons that might be the case) but now I’m ready to sing-a-along. Let’s go
and support this return pairing!
Saturday, February 4, 2012
338. me first
While everyone else is watching The Vow and movies like Red Tails (that have no black women in it whatsoever) on Valentine’s Day especially I will be watching Joyful Noise (again because why watch it just once?) I will be buying that movie on DVD as well. One of my favourite bloggers writes why to watch this movie here.
I think that there are always some issues that separate the
blogging community who currently blog about similar aspects of black women’s
issues but I always go through the same sort of decision making process when it
comes to media. Before I invest time in a TV show I make sure of three
things:
1. There are black women on the show.
2. Black women are put in a positive light on the TV show.
3. Check if there is potential for interracial couplings on
the show.
Everyone else is on a “Me First” mentality for 2012 and I think that it is about time to do the same thing. I will be integrating this angle into the blog from now on. Our lives and love lives are the most
important period.
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